Delaware Dog v. Barracuda

Sorry this took so long...working makes it difficult from time to time.

So, last week, Joe Biden and Sarah Palin had themselves a little sit-down in front of America and a moderator whose questions annoyed even me. Seriously, can't we pick the questions? My cat could have picked better questions and he has the common sense of a trash bag. Here come the highlights.

For Joe Biden, this debate held one goal...don't be Joe Biden. Don't be an arrogant ass who discredited his running mate in the Democratic debates earlier this year, and avoid that air of smug that was firmly implanted in his genes. To his credit, he did these things...he almost was able to force out a tear, implying that people in Washington have a heart, but I think it was most likely acid reflux. He, a majority of the time, answered the questions presented while adding in his pro-Obama bullet points. He smiled...a feat rarely seen in Washington unless a kickback or bribe is in play. I believe his only weak point was that he sounded like a Washington insider, which I was under the impression was to be avoided with the Obama "Change" mantra. I realize he was added to the ticket because his foreign policy experience will cover the fact that Obama's foreign policy experience equals meeting a few terrorists in the late 70's and early 80's in Chicago. However, Biden can put you to sleep when he goes on about policy...he has no likability. Overall, when it comes to foreign policy, I would say he won on knowledge of the issues, but certainly not on his ideas for the future...sorry, I'm with the old guy, remember?

Sarah Palin came out and defied critics, once again creating the buzz needed to boost the McCain camp back into the limelight. She showed that Katie Couric is a biased lefty interviewer and her loaded questions would never have been thrown at Obama or Biden if the other party was interviewed. I mean, come on, she works for CBS. I'm pretty sure CBS is a Communist country in itself, and ol' Katie...I'm afraid the only way she can get viewers is by acting like a co-host on The View. In the debate, Palin did what she needed to do. She came off as the working-class mom and wife who cares about her son in Iraq and cares about common people. She has this ability to appeal to a broad audience by speaking to people, not above them. A lot of people like and appreciate that approach, in the same way people liked Clinton, hands-down one of the best speakers when dealing with regular Americans. Palin was not perfect, though. She really did have a problem with answering some of the questions, going off on little snits about energy and taxes, her strong points. I understand why she did it. Those are issues that affect Americans, and like it or not, people in foreign nations do not vote here. That is what she was supposed to do, and she did it.

The best line of the night came from Palin. Two giant words that need to be reiterated in today's Me Generation were spoken, and thank ya Jesus, she said them. Personal Responsibility. Finally, someone said it!!!! She finally told people to take responsibility for your own actions and financial decisions and stop living outside of your means. Amen.

The most humorous part of the debates is something I like to call the Focus Squigglies. 30 people sitting in a room holding remote controls and twisting + or - depending on what they think of what is being said at that moment. (Imagine South Park: The Movie...Montana,Pillow, etc.) Focus groups are dumb...let me do a Biden...Focus groups are dumb. They, in no way, reflect anything about America other than what the network wants you to believe. Let me explain. I watched the debate on 3 networks at various times, FoxNews, CNN and MSNBC. All three had focus groups made up of "independent voters, left-leaning independents and right-leaning independents." Here comes the shocker...MSNBC and CNN's groups overwhelmingly agreed that Biden swung them to a Democratic vote, while FoxNews' group had Palin clearly the winner. See, people watch this crap and assume that these people are just like Bob and Carol next door. They're not. They lean where the network tells them to lean. Debate coverage is about as fair and balanced as Cuba.

Gwen Ifill- Thanks for not talking about your little novel about young African-American politicians. I see why PBS has you...you have the charisma and personality of a wet blanket.

I have an idea for some future moderators:

1. Dog the Bounty Hunter- Starts off the debate with "Aloha...how's it brah?"

2. Dennis Franz- Answer the question or he'll show you his ass.

3. Bill Cosby- A debate intermission includes a trademark Cosby Show intro sweater dance.

4. Corey Feldman- Come on...he needs the work.

5. John Madden- "Oh, here's a guy who talks about issues, like when I spoke with Brett Favre about a receiver's job being to receive the ball and then run downfield. Brett Favre. Brett Favre!!"

6. Kent Brockman- The fairest newscaster around. Eye on Springfield!!!

Coming soon....The Bailout- Adios Tax Check, Hello Depression!