There Must Be An End......

I often get berated at my place of work by the same 5-6 ads or songs playing on our TV's in the lobby area.

I had been routinely subjected to a grueling root canal also known as the Mamma Mia! soundtrack for five straight weeks, every 2 minutes, the same song, over and over, day after day. I imagine listening to that whole soundtrack is a lot like high-pressure washing my manparts and then drying them off with a cheese grater.

I will never forget the "I'm a Gummi Bear" Song. Click the link and see if you can sit thru all 2:41 of that horrendous ode to the devil. Sure, it's cute...a little fat bear hopping around, singing and dancing, but it stops being cute after the first thirty times. Then it becomes a struggle, a neverending battle to find the will to live behind the wall of partially hydrogenated sugar, food coloring, and that evil soul, staring at you, dancing towards you, you're an angered tired smothered bastard gummi bear. You think Obama ads are bad and too frequent? I got you one better with this damn bear.

Others have come and past...the Target Superstore "New Breakfast Club/Back to School" ad was especially nerve-pinching. Some Emo/Stroke band playing a time-honored classic like "Don't You Forget About Me" faster than it should be, with kids who do not AT ALL represent the kids from The Breakfast Club. Judd Nelson's character was played by some ass wearing Abercrombie, Ally Sheedy was played by some neo-nerd myspace hairball. What's sad is, the ad only lasted 30 seconds, and each time it came on it was like they found a new vein in which to fill me with aresnic, cat pee, and 80's ballads. Horrific.

Most recently, however, my focus has gone to Natalie Cole. She dug up Papa Nat and recorded a new album of duets. Well, let me re-phrase...she recorded her voice with Nat's, like last time, and made an album of songs that have already been done by Nat, like, 30 years ago. Natalie Cole must either be extremely hard to put up with or must be a horrible singer if the only person she can duet with has been dead for almost thirty years. What amazes me is that this song sounds EXACTLY like her other album she made...an album of duets with defunct Nat King Cole. And it's not like he can say no, he's pretty much out of the picture. And hey, here's one...name one song this woman has written other that Nat King Cole ripoffs. (Jeopardy music) Difficult isn't it? And if you thought of one, stop reading, turn off the computer and try an arsenic & cat pee-filled needle.