Spanish 101: Gorditas and You

Thanks to my wife, her Hispanic-speaking crew, and the cooks at my place of business, I have been able to learn some Spanish, or at least enough to hurl insults at people and know when my employees are talking bad about someone.  I have also learned about how Taco Bell has taken Spanish words and pasted them to an item on their menu with little regard as to the meaning of the word.

The next time you go to Tace Bell, order a Gordita.  Sure, go ahead and order a crunchy Gordita.  Don't forget to get plenty of gooey sauce for your Gordita.  Now, take a bite.  Delicious, isn't it?  While you're sitting back enjoying your crunchy Gordita, think about this...."Gordita" in Spanish slang means "little fat girl."  Swear to God, this is true.  You are eating a gooey crunchy little fat girl.  Look it up on Wikipedia...it says the Taco Bell meaning then below that it lists it among American colloquial phrases like "little butterball."  Spanish 101: Here's how it breaks down.  "Gordo" means "fat."  Throwing "ita" or "ito" at the end of a word makes it "little girl" (ita) or "little boy" (ito).  So, you're crunchy taco-like item is actually a little fat girl. 

Upon hearing this, I laughed....a lot.....for awhile.  I laugh because millions of Americans and a stupid little dog have thrown this word around, put it on billboards, menus, TV ads, etc.  It's everywhere and yet no one has ever expalined the meaning of Gordita.  And Mexicans are laughing at you.  And you deserve it because you're ordering a little fat girl like it's some mail-order underage obese sex trade item while you have a smile on your face and and a tongue ready to enjoy the savory flavor of Taco Bell's little fat girl. 

Go to a Taco Bell drive-thru after you read this, and when they ask you what you'd like, say "Yeah, can I get 2 crunchy little fat girls with no lettuce?"  I am going to do this one day, and I look forward to the response, not to mention the long pause after I order.