Bored...

So, that creepy woman Elena Kagan is going thru her confirmation hearings.  I have tried on more than one occasion to watch and find out if this wee lass is going to be an effective, yet unbiased judge.  Sadly, I haven't been able to get past her appearance.  Is it just me, or does this woman look like the offspring of Rachel Maddow and Miss Piggy?  There's something creepy about her...I don't know if it's the way she smiles like Pennywise from "IT" or if maybe it's the way I can so easily see her in combat pants and a cutoff flannel shirt.  Either way, I don't think putting her on the Supreme Court is a good idea.  Remember the semi from Maximum Overdrive with that giant green face on it?  Now, imagine trying to plead a case and seeing that sitting behind the bench.  Case closed.

I was going to go on an Obama rant, but Jesus, there's just too much to cover.  Hell, even his elitist douchebag media cronies on MSNBC are starting to turn on him.  BP is being raked over the coals for this spill into the Gulf, and if Bush had handled this the way BHO has, he would have been tarred and feathered and thrown into the pit of broken solar power cells that can barely power a toaster.  But that's okay, Barack's not at any fault...it's the failed policies of the Bush Administration, like always.

So, I'm sitting here at the local auto dealership service area waiting on my vehicle to be fixed and I just can't help but to discuss the wonderful array of people sitting around me...a real cross-section of Americana.
1. I know it's mean, but there is something so entertaining about an elderly man walking past me with the walking farts.  How does he time it so perfectly?  Is there a reason why the farts slip out only when his right foot hits the floor?  Sometimes I really do feel like a child when I can't help but to laugh when I see a grown man sawing buttlogs as he gingerly walks to pay for his car repairs.
2. Why is there always the one guy who just can't sit down?  Yes, waiting is boring, but you haven't sat down once and you have been here as long as I have.  It's like if he paces around aimlessly the car repairs will magically fix themselves quicker.  Or perhaps he also has the walking farts and is enjoying crop-dusting the other patrons of this service department.
3. Why do they put pamphlets for new cars in the Service Department lobby?  Isn't that like a smack in the face?  "Hey, your car sucks and while you're sitting here for 7 hours waiting for me to refill your wiper fluid, take a gander at these cars that you obviously will never be able to afford."
4. The business guy.  Always one guy who sits over in the corner with his laptop in a full suit patiently waiting for his car and making important-sounding phone calls.  "Yeah, Tom, make sure we get those T384 reports over to Distribution before the final cut goes thru...the A4150 test sounds positive, but we should run it past R&D again to guarantee the results."  See, I can make up stuff too and sound all smart.
5. The TV.  Every time I have set foot in a service department, there is always a TV and it is always tuned to the most gut-wrenching shows.  I checked it three times thus far.  First, it was one of the morning network news shows, which do not provide any news unless it's about hippie-gothkid-vampire Twilight shitheads.  Second and still on is NBC's coverage of Wimbledon.  You'd think sports would be a good thing, but tennis?  If I wanna see a woman flailing her arms and screaming every time a ball flies at her, I'll watch porn.
6. The angry man.  There's always one person who gets the unfortunate news that the part needed to fix his car "is not available on-site but we can order it and have it here by Thursday."  Man, that sucks.  Service guys are not like doctors and juries...you can't look at them and know it's going to be bad news.  You have to wait til they start speaking, and then it hits you.  You go from hopeful to furious in 5 seconds.  It's better than watching a child drop candy or being the guy at the urinal when the poor bastard in the bathroom stall realizes he has fired out his demons but there's no TP.
7. Lastly, the single 20-ish lady sitting in front of the TV, yet not watching the TV.  Reading, sure enough, Twilight, she sits with her head down like she's some Japanese schoolgirl on a subway in Tokyo afraid to make eye contact because some creepy businessman will take that as an invite to cop a feel.  Just reading that crap will keep the boys away, so she doesn't have a lot to worry about.