Those bastard oil companies!!! They just keep raising and raising the cost of oil making my gasoline more expensive. Now I hear my gas may stay at $4+ a gallon until 2009!?!?!? Oh God, you awful executives!!
I hear it all the time, from the super-biased Nuvo to the Obama-leaning CNN, they all say it. Gas is getting more expensive, and yes that sucks. However, perhaps you should watch where you are pointing that finger in anger. In the end, you may find that the finger is being pointed back at you.
First, let's get this out of the way. To all of you who bought your swanky SUV with 3 TV's, soccer ball storage area, cupholders for Jayden and Hayden, and a space to store the dead hooker you don't want your wife to know about, go to hell. This is what you get...your beloved status symbol is costing you a fortune. Good. If I had the ability to laugh at each one of you as you desperately try to find a way to make your next payment, believe me I would.
I heard one of my beloved customers talk about how expensive gas has been, and while at first I felt her pain, I saw her leave and get into her Cadillac Escalade with gold rims, dark-tinted windows and an unnecessary handicapped tag in her window (unnecessary because she seemed to be walking fine and had no difficulty getting in to a large SUV.)
So, who profits from this gas price? Sure, there are some executives that profit, but if you do a wee bit of investigating, you will find that a majority of stockholders in the evil corporations are regular people like you and me with AmeriTrade accounts and inheritances spread out in the stock market. These people are the ones who stand to gain the most, not the execs as they will make their money no matter how much gas costs. We, the People, are the problem.
I bet you think, hey OPEC is to blame too! They really make the money!!! If it weren't for OPEC, we may be paying $10 a gallon as foreign countries would be able to charge whatever they want for their Texas Tea. So, once again, shut up and stop pointing the finger.
In the end, we are to blame for this. Doesn't it seem weird that over the past 30 years, our population has gone up, the number of cars on our roads have gone up, so gas consumption has gone up and yet we have not built a new oil refinery in those 30 years? Why? Oh yeah, hippies and tree-huggers won't let us drill in Alaska because the Anchorage Buttswallow lives there. Black bears may have to figure out a way to walk under a pipe to take their dumps, and that is just inhumane. Bunnies would have to re-locate possibly 50 feet so they could screw in privacy, out of the way of the dreaded pipe. My God, we truly are a cruel people.
What can we do to help, Godfather? Simple. Build refineries and drill Alaska. Tell the hippies to swallow the sharp pinecone coated in bear blood. Wanna buy an electric car? Fine, go ahead, but included in the contract will be a clause stating that you cannot whine like a little bitch when your electricity bill goes up. Wanna buy a hybrid? Fine, use your E85 ethanol, but when this food crisis gets worse, you will also sign a clause stating that you will shut your mouth and deal with it. Wanna ride a bike? Go right ahead, but when bike-riding deaths increase because hippies are thinking about how much oil their bikechain uses instead of looking at the road, shut up and get them in the ground so they can fertilize more trees.
It's good to be back. Coming soon on this blog..."Obesity: Punishment for the Weak," "Why my X-Box360 is more addictive than crack," and the long-awaited "The Indiana State Fair: You gonna eat the resta that corncob, pun'kin'?"
2 comments:
Welcome back. Let me get this straight, when supply goes down and demand goes up the prices go up? What the fuck dude?
All I can say is I was glad I as an owner of an SUV this past week. While Priuses were stuck in streams I was going through hight water with no problems. Plus, my SUV is almost paid off.
I agree with the majority of your post and I really wish people would shut up about gas prices. Economists have been anticipating it publicly for a couple years and it isn't news. If people choose to drive expensive, gas inefficient vehicles, they have waived their right to complain. A price should be paid for any status symbol.
The major logical flaw people promoting Alaskan drilling is that prices will go down and solve our oil shortage. Gas prices are not going down. Instead of passing on the savings to us from domestic oil, we would sell it to other countries.
Also, ethanol will never cause a food shortage. It's possible that it could cause a corn shortage since our government is paying farmers more than the cost to produce ethanol and yes, the US diet is generally heavily reliant on corn. Food production worldwide exceeds population growth so much that we could sustain 120% or more of our current population. Unless the world chooses to stabalize food production, we will never run out of food.
The following blog article calls for a gas tax increase and it is hard to argue his reasoning:
http://gregmankiw.blogspot.com/2006/10/pigou-club-manifesto.html
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